A FUNNY FROM A FRIEND

*** Adult Truths ***

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to
immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument
when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to
nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #
I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told
you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a
moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after
Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word
and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical
report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so
I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given
Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between
boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before
you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a
word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of
cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay
strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants
never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive
times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble
locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and
Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and
push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes
closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in
Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it
only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also
important.

Ladies.....Quit Laughing.

Heal the past, live the present, dream the future.

Enjoy life!!!